This blog is not intended for anyone inparticular, because I went on a date recently, and it just reminded me that I was supposed to post this blog weeks ago. It is just a compilation of thoughts; I had to downsize my list from 10 to 5 so I didn’t come off like a complete prick. Here they are in no particular order:
1) “So what is your type?” — If you have to ask this then you clearly need to be booted from the table because you are dense. You never ask a person that, especially on a first date. There is just no room for it, and if the person is on a date with you, then they clearly have an interest in you. I don’t know how many dates I’ve been on where I’ve been asked that. More often than not, it’s a deal breaker for me.
2) “So tell me about your ex…” — This topic should be visited later in the relationship, if it even progresses. It is a deeply personal topic that should be left alone for the first date, because more often than not the circumstances of “the ex” may be emotional and bring back memories of why you’re single in the first place. Dating after being in a relationship can be a very difficult thing, and you would want to start fresh and not think about the past, but also keep a cautious mind. So discussing “the ex” should be a no no for a first date.
3) “So I don’t know about you, but I like to have good sex…” — OK. Where to begin with this. Sex should ABSOLUTELY NOT be discussed on a first date, unless you want to engage in a casual fling. Because that is what will happen. If you are dating to look for a longterm relationship you should never ask anything regarding to sex or preferences on the first date, it leads to an awkward feeling and goes beyond a boundary that should not be crossed.
4) “I don’t think I look that good today, not as good as you.” — This may be intended as a compliment, but it comes off mostly as lack of self esteem, which is a huge turnoff. There are other ways to compliment your date without belittling yourself or your image. I know when I go on a date, I don’t want to feel like I look better than my date, I want to be treated as an equal.
5) “So I will hear from you, right?” — If you have to ask this then there is probably no chance that you will. This boils back down to a self esteem issue. I’ve gotten asked this so many times, and it puts the other person in an awkward position. Now they’re forced to either lie to you or hurt your feelings. The best way to handle this is to let it happen. When i say this I’m talking about refraining from asking and just letting things roll out the way it’s supposed to, not to force anything. If the person likes you then they will call you back, and if they don’t then it wasn’t meant to be. Just keep strong and make the night a good one.
To sum it up, a first date should be fun and new, because for the most part it’s a new beginning. But another thing to consider is that you don’t want to get too personal, unless it’s warranted, because it can cause an awkwardness. Just the basics at first, get to know the basic essentials of the person, these are the foundational building blocks to further dates and a possible relationship. Baby steps.