Last night was my first night doing the graveyard shift on my own. I was totally ready to do it, but the station, apparently, wasn’t ready for me. The gas pumps weren’t in service yet and the mini market still had nothing to sell. So it was my job to sit and watch the station to make sure no hooligans do any hooliganry. For 6 hours. 

But for 4 of those hours, i was on the phone with my boyfriend. Now, i’m not much a phone person, i mega loathe it actually, but it was great having him keep me company for so long. One of my fears of talking on the phone is the awkward silence. There were silences in conversation, yet they weren’t awkward. It was nice. 

I think that was the longest i’ve ever been on the phone with anyone. And the thing i find strange about the whole thing was that i enjoyed it. Like i said, i’ve never been a phone caller, only a texter. But with Juan, we can apparently talk on the phone for hours and hours, and i’m happy that even after a year of being together and constantly texting one another, we still have tons of things to talk about. 

Being ignorant is.

They always end in tears ‘cause she says how much she loves me ‘cause i’m her son and all she wants me to do is follow the word of God. Nothing else matters. It doesn’t matter if i’m gay or whatever, just as long as i follow the word of God. 

And, honestly, that makes me want to reconsider my views on religion. Despite the absurdity of it, my mom makes me believe in a lot of it and think that maybe it’s not all that bad.

She gives me hope.

You know what else is hot? Dirty talk. Well, only if you’re doing it right. Don’t say shit like “I haven’t showered in 4 days. You like that baby? Yeah, you like that.” 

I’m talking about practically saying sexually degrading things to your partner while you’re both sweaty and breathing heavily and moaning and just having great sex. I like it when you lean in and practically whisper the dirty, vile things you love doing to them. It’s almost demeaning, the things i like to say when in the moment. 

I feel like it’s a general consensus that boners are hot. You wouldn’t look at a floppy dick and think “yeah gimme some of that hot limpness.” No, you look at that floppy dick and you want to see it hard and throbbing; you want to MAKE it hard and throbbing ‘cause it’s always a nice feeling knowing that a dick is hard because of you.

What’s especially hot is when a guy is hard while you’re fucking them.

Having a dick inside you doesn’t start off as being the most comfortable thing in the world so it’s understandable to lose your boner. Thus, the hottest guys are ones who can maintain that boner (my boyfriend) while getting pounded by a throbbing cock (me). 

So yeah. Boners are hot. 

7-thirteen:

Throughout the course of our relationship, my boyfriend and i have developed quite a few different kinds of kisses. They all just happened randomly and were so hilarious we decided to keep doing them. It’s a part of our quirky relationship and i’ll try to describe them the best i can, but most of them are best understood when seen.

The Eskimo Kiss: This kiss isn’t all that new, but it’s basically rubbing your noses together. It’s cute, for when you have stinky breath, or are super cold. 

The Butterfly kiss: I read about this one on tumblr and we ended up doing it on accident. You need to have your eyes close to each other, and flutter your eyelashes. It tickles lol

The Slow Kiss: You lean into the other person VERY SLOWLY and then right after you kiss them you say “kiss” and pull away really slowly. It’s important to never break eye contact.

The Delayed Kiss: You kiss your partner, but you make the “muah” sound or say “kiss” a long while after you’ve pulled apart. It doesn’t matter when, it could be from 2 seconds after the kiss to 5 minutes. 

The “Donk” Kiss: This one’s kind of hard to describe. Instead of a “muah” sound we make a “donk” sound. You do it by clicking your tongue against the top of your mouth. Combining it with the “slow” and/or “delayed” kiss makes it even funnier.

The Brush Kiss: You literally brush your lips against each other in a horizontal fashion, whispering “brush” after doing so.

The You-Take-My-Breath-Away Kiss: You go in for the kiss, but at the last minute, you literally suck the air out of your partner’s mouth. It literally took Erick’s breath away and he was choking a bit. Super romantic.

The “Tongue and Cheek” Kiss: By far our most absurd kiss. You rub your tongue on the inside of your cheek while your partner does the same with their cheek. You then tongue wrestle with your cheeks in the way. We have an emoticon for it: 

(-3-()()-3-)

The Duck Kiss: You go in for a sensual kiss with your partner when suddenly… They make a duck sound. A very realistic duck sound. A duck sound so real, you’d think you were kissing dolan. It’s even better if both people kiss making a duck face.

The Straight Guy Kiss: “Straight” guys in gay porn often start a scene by being “forced” to kiss a guy. It’s easy to force a kiss, you just literally have to make your lips touch. There’s no tongue, no movement at all, not even the lips. It’s that simple to prove your heterosexuality!

 The Lip Bite: This one is another generic kiss, usually done at the heat of the moment. Basically while you’re passionately kissing, bite the other person’s lower lip gently and tug. It’s really hot.

The Telepathy Kiss: Your foreheads touch together. It’s probably awkward to do in social situations (like a lot of these kisses) but it’s one that doesn’t specifically point out what we’re trying to accomplish (in this case, kiss). 

Six Fags Magic Mount Him

Last night i got to watch the gorgeous Pandora Boxx with my boyfriend at his school! It wasn’t her typical sort of venue, but she still rocked it and was hilarious. 

She started off with a lip sync to some song (idk the name) but it was about having an 8 mile wide vagina (it was awesome) and she did a catwalk and made Harry Potter references and i truly laughed a couple times. 

And omg her dress was fantastic! She called it “carnival hooker” and that’s exactly what it was. Ugh she was so pretty. 

And my boyfriend even got her autograph! And our friend Lonnie (who organized the whole event) got one too AND a picture with her. 

Oh this is actually the dress she wore! It was the same one she wore on the rewind episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race recently. Yeah, i’d crawl into her 8 mile wide vagina any day.

I would go out on dates ‘cause i was hungry

Yesterday i spent a wonderful afternoon with my boyfriend at the LACMA for the In Wonderland exhibit featuring surreal artists such as Frieda Kahlo. I don’t think i would have enjoyed going had i not gone with my boyfriend who is an artist himself. It was quite spectacular actually. All the artists were women so their artwork reflected the turmoil and pain they went through to try and step out of the shadows of their husbands and fathers and government. It was hard times for women and even harder times for strong, independent women. 

My boyfriend and i attempted to analyze every sing painting in the exhibit, trying to decipher what emotion the artist was trying to portray, but surrealist artwork makes it fairly difficult to do that. There’re so many symbolic meanings to every item painted that often only meant something to the painter herself, but we still tried. That’s what made it fun; trying to interpret the painting in our own way. Sometimes, the meaning was clear and easy to grasp, but more often than not, we gazed at a piece of artwork or sculpture saying “I don’t get it.” but that didn’t mean we didn’t enjoy it for it’s artistry and beauty. 

I discovered an artist whose artwork was so beautiful and mythical and cryptic that she has become my favorite surreal painter, and her name is Remedios Varo. It was an amazing exhibit that suggest for anyone in Los Angeles to see because nothing beats seeing a painting up close.