It’s all fun and games until someone gets cum in their eye.

Jizz makes pretty decent lube.

My brother bought me mozzarella sticks.

That moment after giving a successful blowjob

When their toes curl when they cum.

When you’re caught masturbating.

That lightheadedness after ejaculation:

If nice guys finish last, does that mean they have more endurance?

Metroid: Other M

My boyfriend downloaded it yesterday and we were playing it and i was jizzing my pants, like, every ten seconds. It brought back so many memories from Super Metroid and the graphics are sick and i didn’t know it wasn’t going to be like the Metroid Prime games. It’s like a 3-dimensional platformer.

The game only worked for the beginning ‘cause my boyfriend has to do some stuff with the file, but the little bit we played was awesome. I hope he fixes it soon ‘cause this may be an epic Metroid.

TMI

I’ve been jackin’ it all morning, but i can’t fucking cum!! I get SO CLOSE, but right as i’m about to, the feeling goes away!! GAAAAH!! I’ve been watching porn for the last 45 minutes!! I just want to cum!! T^T

Unwelcum

I hate it when people cum unannounced. Whatever happened to manners? To chivalry? -shakes head- It really saddens me that chivlary is dead. It starts off with a guy cumming in your mouth without warning you and it’ll end with guys no longer opening doors for you!! Awful, right?

Seriously, it’s just rude. A simple “Oh god i’m gonna cum!” is all i ask for.