Erk

Every year my family goes to Vegas for some reason. Idk why. We don’t gamble, it’s expensive, and we always stay at Circus Circus. Last year was fun because i went with my brothers, their girlfriends, and my boyfriend. 

This year, they’re leaving tonight without me (‘cause of work) and i’m supposed to meet up with them on Wednesday. I’m still not even sure how i’m getting there. Idk if i’m taking a train or going with my aunt ‘cause my aunt wants to leave at 8am, but i have work until 9am and idk if she wants to wait an hour for me so i dunno what’s going on. 

Honestly, i’d be fine with not going at all. We literally go every year. And every year, i think it’s a waste of money. I get wanting to spend time as a family, but can’t it be a more affordable method?

They were supposed to leave around 4 but my dad isn’t even out of work yet so they’re all still here and i just kinda want them to leave so i can be alone.

I don’t get it when people say they got their facebook hacked when all they did was forget to sign off. I think saying you got “hacked” makes it sound like it wasn’t your fault, but really it totally is ‘cause you’re the one who just left it there for anyone else to mess with.

I cancelled one last week with Shoe Guy ‘cause i wasn’t feeling up to it and then never really bothered rainchecking ‘cause i lost interest. I’m supposed to go out tonight with a black guy, but i’m not feeling up to it again.

The fuck is wrong with me? I want to say it’s ‘cause i don’t even want to bother with these guys who i really have no interest in, but i think it might be plain laziness on my part.

Before, i would i date for the sake of dating. I’m young, i’m supposed to date, and i’ll get some nice things out of it as well as some physical unfness. But now it feels like i’m forcing myself to go out with these guys.

I don’t even go through all the dating worries anymores! Such as wondering what i should wear, what to say, how much physical interractino is permitted, do we kiss, what if he’s stupid, what if his dick looks all weird, would he care if i smoked, etc etc.

I’m so apathetic! I don’t worry about those things ‘cause i frankly don’t care about these guys that i’m dating. I wanna date someone who will make me have those pre-date jitters. Instead, all i worry about is if i’ll be back home in time to watch Degrassi. I need to find more interesting guys.

I threw my keys at my brother’s friend so he can take the car to pick up the xbox controller they forgot. I probably shouldn’t since he’s underage, but…i’m really that lazy.